Felicidade é o contrário

A long while since I wrote...
Well, I've moved houses successfully, all though it was just as difficult as I had expected, if not more so.
My first family was really great. They were there with me throughout all of my development since I arrived here, they taught me a lot, and that is something to remember.
I suppose you discover the importance of people in your life when you separate from them...
They have been a huge part of my year here...the first four months are probably the most shocking. The time when you need to most support. And they gave it to me. But I know I will still see them, visit every once and a while. I plan on passing Christmas with my first family, and traveling with them in January to the beach. So they have not been lost, its just a change.
I've adapted to my second family..almost. Its been about a week and a half since I arrived. Eating their food is not so strange anymore, or having moments when no one is talking is not so awkward. I think this family may be more fitting for me then the first...just because of my lifestyle before I arrived. Here it is only me, my host mom, host dad, and the maid...so in other words, I'm the only kid, and I now can go back to my more solitary, independent life.

So Christmas is coming up, and I'm sure you are curious about what it's like here now.
Well, I dont really know at this point, I'll have to tell you after to be more accurate...
Right now, there are Christmas lights up all around the city, everyone is going crazy buying gifts, just like there...they have Christmas trees, wreaths, and garlands of pine, all fake of course because they don't have pines here...not even close.
One big difference is that it is like 90 degrees or hotter here..and I'm thinking, I dont know yet, but I'm thinking that Christmas here is more...cheery. More parties, more socializing...it's less organized...it's beautifully messy, the Brazilian way.
Brazilians like felicity.

Yesterday I went with my Rotary club to spread some felicity. They bought bunches of gifts for kids, and we went to 3 of the hospitals in the city and a children's center in one of the favelas in town. It was both amazing and horrifying.
We had a fire truck and 4 or so cars in the caravan, tons of presents, 3 santas, 10 'elves' and the token American. The 3 santas, 2 elves, and I rode on the top of the fire truck with the signal blaring, waving, and the others drove behind.
We stopped at each hospital, entered, gave the gifts to the kids there, and left just as 'quietly' as we had come in.
I was close to crying many times. These kids... The faces of their parents, sitting there at their sides, I've never gone through anything like what those children, or just as painfully, their parents are going through. I've never seen things like I'm seeing here...
I remember one little boy... I couldn't tell what had happened to him, but his father was standing at the side of his bed, the nurses applying bandages, and there was a rosary necklace on the pillow above his head...In the hopes of some kind of help.
I remember one boy who couldn't even bring himself to look at me or the gift I'd given to him.
But then I remember one little boy who had a smile from ear to ear when he saw Santa come in and give him a little toy truck, and I remember the kids from the favela running after the fire truck, yelling and laughing, with their soccer balls and sand buckets. And the way the kids waved goodbye, huge smiles on their faces...and the grateful expressions of the parents, for bringing some kind of happiness into a place of such suffering...
Its easy to forget that things like this are happening every day...as no one wants to know, but seeing it...its impossible to avoid. And you just want to help, even if it's just one person, even if it's just one smile...one moment where they forget...and you begin to resent the unfair luck you've run into. You resent how one person can have so much, and another so little...
I was walking through one of the hospitals, and I saw a man, obviously very poor, stretched out on a hospital bed, and I resented the $200 camera I held in my hand...

pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/sommerbrazil/FireTruck

move em' out

My bags are packed, it's my last day with my first host family...
Time to move again, time to adjust again, to adapt again, learn again, grow again, suffer again....do everything again.
I dont really know what I am thinking right now. Part of me is excited to be changing, for what is to come with the new family, but also, part of me is sad about leaving this family that has gone through so much with me already. I fit into my first family perfectly, I have everything I need, even some nice commodities (Wireless, guitars), and I mesh with their personalities well. I'm worried with the other family, things will not go as well, that I will continually think how much better my first family fit with me, but I suppose an exchange student can't think like that...
I have to keep an open mind, realize that it's not going to be the same thing, it's going to be different, some things will fit better, others will not fit as well, and I will learn to adapt.
I keep finding myself thinking how hard it will be to learn the ways of another family. My first family already knows me, what I do. They were there from the moment I set foot in Montes Claros, completely elated and scared. They were there my first night to open their home... they patiently waited for a mode of communication, which only arrived a couple of months ago... for the moment portuguese clicked...they were there to see me adjust to everything, there for the home sickness, for the awe...
this next family and I will have to learn and adapt to each other, and we'll have to go through that awkward period of seeing what is what.
I'd love to take the easy way out, stay with the family that has known me from the beginning, who saw me go through the hardest parts, and were there for me when I had troubles, who taught me so much...but with exchange life, there is no easy way out.
I knew from the beginning I was moving, and in reality, this move is anything but a big deal in comparison to what I've already done. It's really good for me in the bigger picture.
Today is another day for shock and growth. I've just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep my eyes open.

O Mercado

As I go deeper into this exchange I find even more things I love about Brazil.
Today I went to the huge market with my host dad and brother. A place where no tourist would ever go...It's like a flea market, full of everything. There are loads of fruits, veggies, honey, cheese. And all of the sellers are the ones that make the products. It's like a natural market in the US only HUGE, and there are all kinds of people. Rich, poor... the whole world mixes there. There are little restaurants in the middle of the markets, with authentic food from Minas...it's real, and that is what I've found I like.
In Brazil, there is an obsession with cleanliness because of the poverty that people here encounter, but it's turned everyday life somewhat sterile. I can see the culture being lost..which is why today was so neat.
The market was Brazil. There was not one element of the US there. Not one brand name, not one packaged good. Just what people made themselves. There is a grace in that.
Lately, I just think what an opportunity this is. To be a Brazilian for a year. To know what it is like living thousands of miles away from home, virtually alone, completely uprooted, surrounded by millions of new things...so many new things to learn. Few, very few people have this opportunity, to see a country as those that live there do. Because the more I look, the more I realize that tourism is not a way to see anywhere. Tourism's objective is to cater to the wealthy Americanized palate. You can never see the world if your blinded by your own culture.

pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/sommerbrazil/OMercado

habits

Not a lot new going on here now.
Life has become normal...
The language, just for the normal update, is going better. Now I'm taking some Portuguese lessons to better my conjugation, because Portuguese is crazy...and so that is helping. But I can have conversations now, I can use the future and past tenses, which is a big step.
I've learned to sing some songs in Portuguese, which is neat.
Guitar is still going...I'm practicing more now, which I need to be doing, learning some samba and things like that. Singing lessons are still happening too...but I dont know how well they are going. Singing is much harder then I'd thought.
I'm feeling more Brazilian all the time, I guess that is something that comes with getting comfortable in the other country. I've noticed that I've picked up their cultural habits without knowing it. Just little things that I had noticed were different in the beginning like...when they are eating, they dont change the knife and fork from hand to hand to cut food, they leave the knife in their left hand, which I've picked up now. And when I got here, my host mom thought it was so strange that I didn't wear shoes in the house, and now, when I walk around, I automatically put something on my feet. I've picked up the cultural 'warmness', the clothing style, I've started wearing more jewelery...Just picking up new habits which is strange.

:D

Over the past weekend I had 4 of my school friends over to make chocolate cookies and watch a movie at my house here. It was really great. One of the first times I've actually felt like I have a solid group of friends. Now I feel like I can say they are my best friends here, and I like them a lot. We started the day messing around on my pretty little laptop, I was showing them some photos, and thought it would be neat to take some with the photobooth program, and we ended up playing with that program for like 40 minutes. After that we watched a little of a concert and then started with the cooking. They had never eaten chocolate chip cookies before. Never seen them before....Chocolate chips dont even exist here, so I bought a couple chocolate bars and cut them up.
So, we made the cookies, and they turned out good...not the best cookies I've ever made, but they thought it was awesome. The problem was that i couldn't find brown sugar here, I later discovered that it does exist here... but I just used regular sugar for the cookies, so they were just a little bland or something. But my friends have not stopped raving about them.
After we made the cookies, I made some iced coffee, a friend of mine brought a pizza, and then we watched the movie and ate. haha. sounds gross, but it was really neat. after the movie we just stayed talking. I can understand almost everything now. I can converse, participate in the conversations. Its really good.
So that was really neat. To have my first little friend thing here. I'm liking here more all the time. Getting more accustomed all the time.
I have the pictures from the day up on the photo website. take a look! :D

cicmat!

Yesterday was my school's..I suppose its like a talent show.
Each class made up one group, changed the lyrics of a popular song so it's about math, and made up a dance to go along.
I have been 'working' on this project for the past 3 weeks, but nothing got done until this week. Oh so the Brazilian way.
So anyway, my group was called Tropic de Elipse, because the music we chose was from a movie called this (you should check it out by the way, its awesome). The song is from a genre called funk (said funkie hahahahaha) which is like...rap sort of, but its maybe...more melodic, and the beats are a little different. The girls of the group, after deciding that it was impossible to work with the guys, made up a separate chorography, and ended up dancing in front of the stage instead of on the stage. Us girls also took another song and learned the guitar and changed the lyrics and performed this as well.
It was so cool. 'working' on the dance was always a lot of fun, and performing it was even better. We all had matching camo shirts, and when we all got up on the stage everyone started to scream, and I couldn't stop smiling.
I was nervous, but not as bad as normal, not so much that I forgot to have fun.
The first thing we performed was the guitar and song that us girls made up. We didn't actually play in real life, because we recorded the song earlier, but we all pretended. And then after we did the dance, which was the best part. I really hope I can get a copy of a video from someone...because I think it was pretty neat. Everyone was screaming the whole time, and I was just laughing. My face hurt after. Serious.
After the show, practically the entire school went to the Avenida, which was cool. Sat down, had dinner and talked with bunches of friends.
Brazil is good. I'm liking it here.
photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/sommerbrazil/Cicmat

Stuff

It's been a bit since I wrote., but I dont know that I have much new to say.
Life here has become normal, but it wont stay like that for long as I am moving houses and being completely uprooted in 2 weeks.
The date for me switching houses has been set. The 25th. And the closer I get, the more prepared I feel. At the beginning, the thought of leaving my current family made me sad and the idea that they would be 'replacing' me with another student made me ridiculously jealous, but now, I've accepted that I have to move, and I'm actually kind of excited.
The Rotary's set up with moving houses, I think is a good and bad thing. There are a bunch of kids here with AFS, another exchange program, and they all talk about how ridiculous it is that we have to change houses. But its good because you get to experience so much more of your host country. Meet family friends of 3 different families. Know 3 native families inside out. And that is something that not everyone can experience.
I have been thinking lately about how not many people actually get to do this. Actually get to see a country for what it is. I know Brazil. I am as close to a Brazilian you can get without actually being one. I live in the home of natives, go to school with natives, eat their everyday food, not the food of restaurants, go out with them to the local spots. They incorperate me into their daily lives, and that is how you really should experience a country. When you travel as a tourist, you see what they want you to see. You encounter the norm, the fakeness of pretention, and you truly dont get to see the real country, or know its people. I'm a different nationality this year, and its a new life.
I've pretty much accustomed now. I'm speaking well enough to have conversations, and I understand enough to know what is going on 90% of the time. I am making more friends all the time, learning more about life here. My goal, which I'm not sure I will achieve, but I want, at the end of the year, to be mistaken for a Brazilian. Now, its difficult in my city to be mistaken, because there are very few Caucation people here, but in the south of Brazil, when I go there, I will see. Already, people have mistaken me for a native, but that, of course, was before I talked to them :p
I'm trying to speak without an accent, but I think that is impossible at this point, there are just some things that you have to live in the country from childhood to pick up...or else, live there for a long time. But I'm training now. I started a Portuguese class with the English teacher of one of my friends, and every class, he has me read passages in Portuguese, and helps me with pronunciation. Explaining sounds and how letters phonetically work. Which is strange in Portuguese.
I'm going on Summer break in a month, and I'm so ridiculously excited. I think that, of course, its going to be boring sometimes, but there is no way it is more boring then being at school. So it should be good. And I've met so many people, I think I'll have things to do a lot of the time.
I'm excited for my summer days here. Lazy and hot, but full of festas and swimming, and just relaxing. Making friends. Having a coconut in the shade. haha.
Right now a lot of the kids are freaking out studying. My senior friends are taking the huge college entrance exam now, named vestibular, and they are studying like crazy. To enter college here you just have the grade from this test. There is no matter of essays or interviews or going to meet the college. You go where you get accepted and can afford to go.
And then the kids in my grade are freaking out about some country test, I think it is something like a standardized test in the states. But when that stuff is over, there will be more people for me to go out with.
I'm starting to worry about what I'm going to do when I go back to the states. With college and stuff. I know that I will be ok. I can deal with what I need to do to graduate. Just that I think I'm going to have a slightly lowered work effort when I first arrive, and I'll have a lot to do. I still have to take the SAT and ACT, I have to get 6 or more credits to graduate. I have to get my college applications worked out. Figure out what I'm doing with my life...oh jeez. Its a lot that I will have to deal with, and it will be hard to go back to real life. All though this life is pretty real too, just that there are different priorities.
I know that this year is worth it though. Whatever I will have to do to re-cooperate I will do. Just worrying like I do.

What's new?

Last weekend I met my next host family.
Well hopefully they will be my next host family. Things with that are a little messed up, and both I and another exchange student are planning on living there. We'll see, but I'll live with them eventually.
So they were really great. I was worried because so much time had gone by without me hearing anything from them, but its fine. I went to the country club, lunch, a drive to see the forest preserve that I think my next host dad works on, and then to their house to rest and spend some time together. It will just be me, my host mom, my host dad, and the maid living in the house, because both of their sons are out on exchanges now. I think that it will be just fine, I'll be living in a neighborhood with a lot of other kids my age, and I live really close to everything, so getting board, or feeling alone should not be a problem. Also, most of the time I will be living in this house, if everything works out as planned, will be summer vacation, so my host mom will not be working or going to class.
Right now she is a teacher in the morning and night at a university here in MOC, and then on the weekends (friday to sunday late) she is in Belo Horizonte taking classes. But during summer vacation, none of this stuff is going on, so she will be home a lot.
I really like my new host mom, she seems like a really sweet woman, very educated.
The day after I met her, she called me to say that she missed me and was excited to have me stay in her house. I thought that was really nice.
I still have a month, but now I'm not dreading leaving my current host family so much. All though, still, I wont want to leave them.
The new house is nice. It isn't very big, but for 3 people, its perfect. It has bunches of windows, kinda reminds me of home. There is a porch and a yard that I can go to, and i have a comfortable room. My host mom is remodeling the bathroom for the exchange students that will live there. So its going to be a nice place to live. I'm feeling good about it. Except that I know I will miss my host family now. After these 3 months, I've completely fallen in with them, I know my house, I know my neighborhood, family, extended family, so its going to suck to start all that up again. But it will also be exciting to have a bunch of new things, new opportunities.
My second host family has a farm somewhere that they go to, with horses and all that kinda stuff, so I'll be riding again!!! I'm excited. And the cool think about Brasil is that you can find all kinds of things to eat along the way. A coconut here, a berry there...its neat.
So the doubts have been lifted now, and I'm excited to see whats new.

Falling in

Ah, all the time, I'm liking Brazil more and more...probably because I can kinda speak Portuguese now.
But everything is really great. I'm a little bipolar about this, because there are days that I feel sad, and all I want is to be at home with the comfort of well known things, but most of the time now, I'm happy. And right now, I'm really content.
I went with my host mom to her night college today. I met a bunch of the people of her college on the last trip I took. So I ran into a bunch of them, and it was great, because finally I can talk. Finally!!!!
My host mom's college is connected to the shopping mall of Montes Claros, so I waited for her to finish in the mall. It's really small, but it is pretty much like a little mall there in the States. Except it has a supermarket and gym attached, and there are not really outlet stores. They are all little shops.
I was hoping, while walking around alone, to run into someone I knew. I didn't, but I did talk with attendants of some shops, and it was nice. The conversations were conversations, not hand signals and confusion. I can finally feel myself falling in, and its a good thing after so much time spent uncomfortable.
After my host mom's class finished, we went to go eat a little something at this 'Arab' food place. It was not exactly what I would consider Arab food, but it was good none the less. It was the first time me and my host mom went out and talked together, just us two. And now I'm wanting, even less, to change houses.
Everything here is going really well. My friends are getting closer. I'm learning how to make new friends....which I'm embarrassed to say, I didn't know how to do before. I'm growing all the time, learning to deal with things I had not encountered before, and it's really good for me. This year is going to be one of the years, if not the year, that I grow and change the most.
Earlier today, I went to the house (condo) of one of my classmates, to work on something for school. There are about 8 of us working on a song and dance to present to the school next friday. So all of us went there to work on this project. We have been 'working' on it for the past 2 weeks, and I have yet to see any work done. Haha.
We leave class to go work on the project, and end up playing Patecca, or soccer, or just messing around. And today was exactly the same. We did absolutely no work. I got to the condo, then we played guitar for a while, played soccer, swam, played patecca, played videogames, ate...and then left because it was getting dark. Its funny the difference in attitude. They dont seemed worried about it at all. I suppose we are just going to work on it in the coming week...we'll see how well it actually goes. So far, we've got the music set up. But none of the dance is coordinated yet. :p
But it was cool, just hanging out with some Brazilian kids. Falling in. :p

Indeed, another trip.

I went on another trip this weekend. Lots of excitement lately.
I went to a town close to my own here with my host mom and dad, called Janiuba...or something like that, to see a project going on, somehow related to my host mom's university courses.
A bunch of people from the college went, of all ages. The trip overall was really fun, but the project was a little boring. When we arrived there in this town, probably equal in population to the East Mountains, we stopped at the little farm we would be staying at, and had some coffee, crackers... fruit. Sort of met the area we would be staying, and then went on our way to see the project. The project is...well, I didn't completely pay attention, but the town is an agricultural town, based on production of fruits. And the largest river of Minas Gerais passes through this town, so they have this elaborate system of canals and such to water the orchards, and so we went to the diversion canal, and walked around in all the machines and such, and that was kinda interesting. After we went to the warehouse where they package all the limes from the area. That was neat to see, all though no production was going on. They let us take some limes for free, and of course, the Brazilians went crazy, and took literally SACKS of them. haha. Then we went to the orchards, which was really cool. I got to eat a tangerine right off the tree, and then some weird tropical fruit I had never seen before. The flavor was good, but had a semi-horrible texture, and apparently it's so acidic, that if it gets on your clothing, it burns it. For some reason you can still eat it though. There is a picture on my photo site. There were also orchards of mango trees, but that is so normal now. There are literally mangos in the street. The city is about to be completely overloaded with them, which is great for me, I love them.
After the orchard we went back to the farm where we were staying. Everyone was extremely hot and tired, and there was one bathroom for literally, 80 people. We set up tents and got situated. And to decide who got to take a shower when, everyone chose numbers from a hat. I was super lucky, and chose the last number possible, but ended up getting to take a shower 2nd, because the American can't go thinking that she has to wait in line to shower. YESSSSSSS!!
The house on the farm was super antique. All the lights were wired by hand, because surely, when it was built, electricity wasn't available. The furniture was all weathered wood, there was an old, sort of southern like porch in front, and a tile roof that was visible from inside the house.
At night, we had a barbecue, with lots of music and dancing, and it was really great. The project was more or less boring, but the party, was worth the trip times 10. Brazilians are so much fun, I dont know how to explain it. They have no inhibition when it comes to parties. They dance and sing and act crazy (in a good way), without any problem. So we ate barbecue and played cards, and danced, and talked until the wee hours of the morning. I finally can talk with people, so that is really great. I had bunches of conversations about the US, differences and such. Sadly, they think we just eat hamburgers, watch tv, and think we own everything in the world, but I'm setting them strait. ;)
I finally got to dance Fórro, which is this type of music I have fallen in love with here. Its kinda folkie...sort of, and has accordion. Its really upbeat, and great to dance to. Before my host sister left for the US, she taught me to dance fórro, but until this weekend, I had not danced with anyone else. So that was neat. The dance is, well, you are close to the other person, and its a tap with one foot, and then a step with the same foot, then you do the same with the other foot. And there are a bunch of tricks you can do. The guys at the barbecue knew how to dance, which was so refreshing, as guys in the US don't dance...of very few do, so I learned a bunch of new tricks, and had a great time. Goodness, the party was fun.
I went to bed at like midnight, because I was just so tired from the day and such, but the party continued on until 3am-ish. At 7, everyone woke up and then we left the farm. It was a great trip, lots of fun.

Saudade

Oh my, oh my, oh my.
Lots of homesickness this week.
For a while there, I was doing good with everything. Lots of stuff to distract me I suppose, but now, all I can think about is how freaking hot it is here, and how I would love to be home, where it is cold, with a big cup of coffee and a fire.
But here is good too. I just have to enjoy it now, because I only have 8 months left now.
I've already been here for 3 months. It's a long time, but I know the next 8 will pass quickly, and when the time to leave comes, I will not want to go.
I was sitting in my classroom on Tuesday, after arriving home from my trip to the beach, and I was thinking how much I missed my classmates. That was just after a week.
I think leaving Brazil is going to be harder then it was to leave the US, because I know that when I go back to the US, my friends and family will still be there, my home will still be there. Things will be, more or less, the same. But when I leave Brazil, who knows when I will come back, if I come back. Who knows where the people I meet will go, how much things will change. So I just have to remember to enjoy here while I've got it.
Tonight there is a barbecue for all the people from my school that went to Porto Seguro. I'm excited to see everyone reunited again. The kids on the trip were great. Everybody got along well, and we had bunches of fun. Now, when I see the kids from the trip at school, it's always a big hug to greet each other. We all got close, which is really good. I have 40 new good friends, so its great.
Things are coming along here. My Portuguese is finally getting acceptable, and I'll be starting a class on Monday. The guitar...could be going better, because still I am having difficulty with reading sheet music, but its good for me, and its coming along. My family is great, my friends are becoming closer and closer friends. So all is well. I just have to stop letting myself get carried away with romantic ideas of home.

A Vida Boa

Yesterday I got home from my trip to the beach. Finally I got to see the beach in Brazil.
It was so much fun.
All of Brazil's students go to this one beach, and they have concerts and luaus and hang out in the sun. And it's the best.
The bus ride there is almost 16 hours long, so that was not so good, but it didn't feel like 16 hours at all because everyone was being crazy. There were like 40 kids from my school who went, and everyone was playing guitar, singing, making a mess. So it was not unbearable. We arrived there in Porto Seguro, and I was so ecstatic . I hadn't seen the ocean for years. I think sense my trip to Costa Rica. Minus seeing the ocean in Seattle, but that is cold ocean, and is not the same. Everyone on the bus got up, and was looking out the windows, it was exciting.
Our hotel was not as nice as it had seemed in photos, but it was still in a really good location (10 minutes walking to the beach), and in reality, we were only there to take a shower and sleep (which equals only like 4 hours per day).
Every night there was something going on. There were shows of the famous artists of Brazil, there were luaus, trances, parties. It was great. There was not one night that I spent bored. Not one.
During the day I went to the beach. Pretty much this. I usually woke up around 9am, but only because I had to get my free breakfast. and after, everybody would go to the beach, get a table all together, have a coconut, swim in the ocean, and talk. It was the good life.
There were so many people from my city, that I could walk around the beach for 15 minutes and be certain to see someone I knew. Everyone was nice, and everyone was there to have a good time, so it was just fun.
The beach was pretty. Not gorgeous, but pretty. Porto Seguro is not known for its beauty, but everyone goes there anyway because its so happy and fun. It's a yellow sand beach, with palms. the streets are clean for the most part, and the architecture is...well it's touristy. All mixed styles. On the beach there are more vendors then there are tourists, and that is a lot. But they don't really bother you. That is, they don't pressure you if you say no, they just move on. But there were people selling anything you can possibly make out of a coconut. Jewelry, purses, keychains, everything. There were people doing henna, and braiding hair. People selling all kinds of different foods. One popular food from Porto Seguro is called....I forgot the name, but it is like a corn bread..not really a bread because its fried in oil, but that bread, and shrimp and peppers. its really good. Corn on the cob is a popular thing to eat too, but its different from the corn in the US. Here its a lot more salty and more course. I like the US corn more.
When it was time to leave the hotel, I didn't want to go. Porto Seguro was so good. It was perfect. Ocean, relaxing, just having fun. But I was really tired. When I got home, I was happy to be home. I missed my family here, which is nice to know. I really like them a lot. I bought each of them a little gift from Porto Seguro, I think they liked it.
I'm coming up on 3 months. Still not speaking fluently, but its better for sure. On the trip I could have conversations with people, and it was so cool. I knew what was going on, which was nice. I'm improving. I just was expecting this to be a little bit easier then it has been.
I'll be starting a class with a English student here next week, and hopefully that will improve my Portuguese a little more.
Well, I have bunches of pictures up on my photo website of my trip, if you wanna go check them out. http://picasaweb.google.com/sommerbrazil
tchau!

BEACHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Today I'm off to the beach! Finally I get to see tropical Brazil.
I'm going with my school to town called Porto Seguro. This town has the closest beach to my city...12 hours by bus.
The 'senior' class is getting ready to graduate, and this is their trip. This year, not many kids from my school are going. Only about 15 or 20, but it will be great anyway because this week is student week, and there will be kids from all over Brazil. There are 3 or more other schools from Montes Claros going, 3 other exchange students from my city are going, and bunches of other students will be there, so it should be really fun.
There are concerts every day of some of the most famous bands in Brazil, there is beach, lots of people, great food, and I hear its spicy. Finally a taste of home.
People say that Porto Seguro is not the prettiest of towns, but that it is one of the most fun. Always there is a party, always people are dancing, and playing music. So I think its going to be great.
I will be sharing a room with 2 brazilian girls and the other American girl that is in my school. I dont know what to expect out of the hotel. I think that it is nice-ish. But it doesn't really matter, because I'm not expecting to stay there other then to sleep and take a shower.
We leave today at 4pm, and I think arrive tomorrow around 8am. It's a long trip, but its worth it.
I will be sure to take lots of pictures and post them up on my photo website when I get back.
more to come, tchau!

2 months today

Oh jeez, I really need to be more frequent about these entries.
What have I been up to lately...
I am still Just going to school on the week days, 7 to 12. I come home, usually sleep a little..
On Tuesday through Thursday I have classes at the public art school. I'm doing guitar of course and also singing.
The guitar is difficult, because I have to learn to play in the classical style, in a different position, and now I'm learning to read music, which is really difficult when you have no one to explain it to you. But I've started to understand how it works, now I just have to memorize every location of mi fa sol la si and do. agh.
I'm learning a samba piece now, it's fun to play, but the rhythm is really strange.
Singing is hard too, but I have already felt a difference in my range. Now I can get a bit louder. Its strange, because I didn't think there was so much to singing. But the breathing and control is really precise.
The art school is neat though. Sometimes I stay there after my class, and play guitar with whoever is around. I've met a bunch of cool people, so it's good that I am going there.

My family is getting better and better all the time. I like them a lot.
Right now, my host dad is in the other room playing guitar and singing, trying to teach my younger host brother to play and sing too. super cool.
We keep having these really sweet family moments, all sitting around the dinner table, laughing and having a good time. I am moving families in 2 months, or less, and I hate to think about it. I want to stay here for the whole year.
My host mom is a little cold, but she can be really sweet too, and I like her a lot. My host dad is extremely intelligent, and my host brother is hilarious. Ah, I don't want to leave here.
But I suppose that I will learn to adapt really well by moving families.
If there is one thing I will learn from this exchange, it will be to adapt. Adapt to a new culture, a new house, family, country, language, school, population, climate, food...everything.
I still think I'm so crazy for doing this.

Today is 2 months here in Brazil. Strange. Time feels so weird here. It feels like I have been in Brazil for a year, and away from home forever. It's like I'm suspended in time.
I think that finally, things here have become normal, so time is passing normally, but I have already gone through this crazy period of complete time confusion, so my reference to everything is a mess.

I was walking around my house yesterday, and realized that it has become my home. I don't hesitate to do anything anymore.
I'm accustomed to school now too, but that makes it all the more boring. Man, its boring. Honestly, I just sit there for 5 hours. Sometimes I joke around with the kids in my class, or talk to them, and I used to read a book, but I finished it, and now...ah. I just study Portuguese, or try to understand the class, but after about an hour of trying, and succeeding some of the time, I tire, and return to the boredom of solitude. But the language is getting better all the time...logically.
I can talk with people fluidly upon meeting them. Because those things are normal. Always the same questions. Where are you from? How is it different? Do you like Brazil...ext..

In the beginning I was saying after 2 months, I would speak mostly, and understand everything...well those were high hopes, but I'm doing fairly well.
I really had no idea what I was getting into. I thought the language would be a lot easier.
I think/really really hope that in one more month I will be understanding mostly everything, and speaking for the most part, because now that I am starting to speak, it is so much better. I'm getting friends, and bonding with my family, and I think I can get around alone in the city now just fine. So it's good. Things are going well.

I still need to take some photos of my city, and if you haven't already seen, I have a photo site set up with pictures of my house and life here so far. The link is http://picasaweb.google.com/sommerbrazil

I will try to write more frequently, and be more descriptive of my life here, daily activities...not just my emotions. :p

Independencia

Last weekend was a long weekend, I had Friday off of school. So my whole family, minus the grandparents, went to the country club to stay the weekend.
It was a lot of fun. Pretty much just relaxing, enjoying each other's company. I spent a lot of time at the pool, or playing batecca (like badmitton, but without rackets), or playing the guitar. It was a nice.
The club has these little houses, pretty much just a room with beds in it, that I stayed in with my family. There was a little kitchen outside of the room, that we used to do all the cooking, and playing guitar, and sitting. Sadly, we had to share a bathroom with the rest of the world, but it was not so bad.
Anywhere you went, you would see people playing music. Everyone brought instruments, so there was samba going on most of the time. That is pretty much how Brazilians function. There is always music. Always upbeat.

Last Friday night I went with my host cousin to a restaurant/bar on the aveneda where she was playing a show. She is in a band called Meninas de Minas *girls of Minas*, and she plays the guitar and does back up vocals. They play mostly popular Brazilian music, I don't know if they play their own stuff...Pretty sure just covers, but they are definitely good.
Towards the end of the show, like 1am, she called me up to play a song, so I went up, and played and sang my favorite song First Day of My Life for them. It went semi-well. I was really nervous, and I think you could tell, as I hit my face on the microphone, but it was fine, I did it.

Sunday I went out for the last time with my exchange student friend from Denmark. He decided to go home after the homesickness and discomfort got to be too much.
It was really difficult to say goodbye, but one has to do what they have to do. I'm sad that he's gone, because we were going through exactly the same thing. Wanted the same things, thought the same things, and after being thrown into this insane mess of confusion and displacement, it was nice to have someone to identify with.
But I suppose now, I am on my own, which in the long run is better for my exchange. I have to make good friends with Brazilians, not that I wasn't already doing that, but I have to really do it now, and I can speak only Portuguese in school...really, which is good for my language.

An American girl has taken my Danish friends place in Montes Claros. She lives in his host house, and now goes to my school. Its...bad for me I think. Having an American in the same school is going to make it difficult to not speak English.
I really need to learn Portuguese.
Its almost been two months now, one more week and its been 2 months.
By this time, I was expecting to speak well, and understand everything, maybe those were high hopes, but I'm thinking that I slacked off.
It's so hard to judge where I should be with this language thing. Its something I have never experienced before, so I cant tell where I should be or where I am. In reality, it is an entire language, and expecting to learn it in a month is ridiculous, but also, I think I could be trying harder to learn. But I'm tired...It's difficult.
I am hoping to set up a class of Portuguese soon, so that I can get things together, because the sooner I speak, the sooner I am going to start my exchange, for real. Right now, that is the only thing I have to complain about. I love the family, the city is ok, the school is ok, the people I know are great, its just that I am still confused and uncomfortable a lot of the time. Once that is resolved, I'm going to love it here.

This weekend I have plans to go out with friends to the aveneda...go to a pagode (brazilian dance festa), and also, to my first soccer game out. I think that should be interesting.
Here soccer is just as big of a deal as people make it out to be. One of the first things my host family said to me is that my soccer team has to be Gallo if I'm staying in their house.
In Montes Claros there is one major rivalry, Gallo vs. Cruzero. The game this weekend is those two teams. I'm going to a restaurant somewhere on the aveneda to watch, wearing the team jersey. I'm expecting a lot of yelling. A lot.
It should be interesting.

Well, for now I must go, but I will write later.
And I'll try to be more frequent...just lots of things.

Describing

Hello,
I got an email from a friend today, with some questions, I thought I should answer them here, in case someone else was curious.
I've gotten a bit caught up in the emotions of Brazil, and have not taken time to give you guys a background. So here it is:

Starting with the most important thing, food!
Food here is, rice and beans, and rice and beans, and meat.
Pretty much this.
They dont eat many veggies, but they do have a lot of fruits. Many of which, I have not seen before. There is one called Goiaba, which I ate for the first time a few days ago, which looks like a guava on the inside, but is not so sweet. Its kind of acidic, has a green skin, and pink center, and the texture is like a ripe pear. They have this other fruit, maracuja, which is like no other fruit I have ever eaten before. It has a really thick skin, and you just eat the seeds and the juice that is in the center. It is also acidic, the flavor is like...orange and passion fruit mixed together.
They have this potato like thing here, called manjoca, (I have no idea how to spell it). its...like a potato, but better, more fiber-y.
As for the meats, they are very salty. Mostly people eat beef, but also chicken and pork. Fish is not common at all. I have eaten it only once, and it was a little awful. Barbecue is the most common way of cooking, all though broiled chicken is popular, and fried things as well.
The beans are beans, and the rice is white rice. Normal.
As for the breads...there are so many. When I was in the US, I dont think I went into bread stores, really ever, but here it is a once a week ritual. There are always French rolls, and a sweet bread, which i find not sweet enough (just have a coating of egg and sugar and maybe some cinnamon). They have little cookies that have a little jelly in the center. I have yet to see any chocolate chip cookies, I think I will have to make some for my family here soon. I think they have no idea. They have this think called pão de queso, which is a little round ball of bread, and the center is cheesy bread, its really good.
The cheese here is good. They have this white cheese that you buy in huge wheels, I think its a kilo... and its not fat at all. Its really light, the flavor is very mild, and its barely salted. Even though it is a little plain, its delicious.
Here, I'm not sure what kind of spices, seasonings, or anything of the like, they use. I dont know if they cook with oil or something else, as the maid is the one that cooks. which is strange for me to say.
There is one thing here that we dont have in the US that is delicious. but it has so much sugar, more then one person should have in a month. but it is realllllly good.
its simply a can of condensed milk and 5 spoonfuls of chocolate milk mix, like nesquick. You put all it into a sauce pan and stir for about 10 minutes, after, allow to cool, and then you eat it. you can eat it plain, or with cookies. Its bad for you though. Sadly.


Another thing, what do I do for fun:
I have been to a place called the aveneda, which is like a main-street with restaurants and bars lining it. That is pretty much where everyone in Montes Claros goes to hang out on Friday or Saturday nights...well actually any night.
There are chairs all on the sidewalk, with barely enough space to walk, and anywhere you go, you find people you know. There are a few places with live music, some just chill music, some dance music. It depends on the night. Sometimes there are things called "Pagoges" which is where you go to dance. you dont sit. People, usually from 16-35ish go to dance. There is samba music, along with fórro (you should look this up, its gooood), and some axé. all very dance-able music.
But when it's not night, I go to get ice cream with friends, which is reallllllly sweet here. I like sweet, but jesus.
I also go to the country club, where you can swim, play volleyball, basketball, batecca (which is like badmitton but without a racket), handball (I dont know what this is, but people talk about it), and of course, soccer.

People here dress like...brazil. I dont think that they fit into any American city exactly, but the guys, for the most part, would be like California, the girls, depend. They all wear high heals, wedges are really popular too. They wear skimpy things, a lot of tank tops, halter tops, and things of the like. They wear jeans, shorts, skirts. I suppose California is as close to Brazilian girl style as you can get.

Well, for now I must go to sleep. But more to come, as always.

Dream

Well, I woke up this morning, after only 4 hours of sleep, with the vague memory of a dream in Portuguese.
Well, not an entire dream, a few sentences, but you have to start somewhere.
Things are getting better all the time. Only sometimes do I feel the emptiness of being thousands of miles from home, and the language is coming, in bits, but coming.
Its strange how irregular it is though. Sometimes I understand everything. Sometimes, (stressing sometimes) people understand what I am talking about. But other times not at all. I suppose that is normal.
I know I've said this a lot of times, but I cant wait to speak. Cant wait.
I cant wait for the moment when I look back on when I arrived here, and dont understand how I could not speak Portuguese in the first place. I cant wait till its more commonplace for me to speak portuguese then english. I cant wait till the phone rings, and my stomach doesn't jump at the idea of answering, or when I order something at a restaurant, the waiter understands, or when I have to translate from portuguese to english. And that day will come, I just have to remember that...through this difficult period.
and it will be so worth it.

Looking up

Today me and my family went to the country club.
I have pictures up on my photo website. (link under 'about me' to the right ->)

I was really nice, a little brown, but August here is supposed to be the driest month of the year, so later, it should be green.
It has not rained once sense I've been here. that is a month. Jeez, I've come to the Brazilian equivalent of New Mexico. I was hoping for a Beach...alas, it is 8 hours away.
The club seemed really cool though. I think that when there are more people, it will be more fun. But they have little apartments that you can stay the weekend in, and areas to do barbecues, which are the best. There is a lake, I dont know what for...people can ride horses, or play volleyball, or swim.. lots of things.
In 2 weeks, me, my family (the entire family...uncles, aunts, cousins), and hopefully a friend of mine will go to the club to stay the whole weekend. 2 nights and 3 days. Its some kind of holiday...dont know what for, but I'm always up for a vacation. :p
The plan is to eat, and play music, and swim, and play games. I cant wait. I know its going to be amazing.

Things here are looking up. I was feeling really horrible this week. I was not looking forward to anything, all I could think about was home, what I was missing, but now...today, all I've had to think about are the amazing things will do here.
I will learn to speak another language, I will learn to live with the customs of another culture, I will learn to play guitar in a new way, I will meet so many friends, and have so many fantastic memories. I will learn about myself, and the world. And I will have more fun then I ever have before.

I went out the the 'aveneda' this weekend with some friends. The whole night, for the most part was Portuguese, and I faired just fine. I understood most of the time what people were talking about, and I had a really good time. I think the issue has been that I have not incorporated into Brazil yet, but I can feel it starting to happen. Once I am learned in their ways, I will be free to have one of the best years of my life.
I am really looking forward to it now.

One Month Today

As I go on, things just seem to get harder.
Already I know myself better. Already I know the world better... its people better.
But its been hard.
Especially this week. I have been missing home a lot. Its weird to know that everyone is living on, without me, and me without them, Its lonely.

Today is a month. A month away from home, a month lost, a month found.
I'm beginning to understand what people are talking about, which is the first step to speaking. I can say simple things, but I always feel like a complete mess when I'm trying to talk. I think that in 2 more months, I will speak well. I hope, because that is when my exchange year can finally start, and I think that I need to have some sort of intellectual connection...

I spend a lot of time here in solitude, trying to figure things out. There are so many feelings and so many thoughts going through me. I dont know what to do anymore. I am physically exhausted, as well as mentally, and sometimes I just want to give up. I dont want to try to understand anymore, I dont want any more newness, I just want to hold up in my room, lost in something familiar...a book or some music, but shutting myself up only prolongs the discomfort. So I tire myself with trying.

I dont think I knew how much strength this would take. But I've just got to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Its strange here, because I keep getting frusterated with the situation, I keep telling myself that I should be doing better, trying harder, that I'm failing. But now I'm discovering my limits. I feel like I'm losing my childish innocence. I'm realizing I am not able to do everything all the time, all though I know I can do a lot. I am realizing that things take time. Where in New Mexico things came easy..here things take so much work. everything takes so much work. and i'm getting stronger, I'm gaining perspective. Everyday. Getting stronger, learning..language, myself, the world.
Oh, its been so hard. But I would not trade this for anything. I know I'm going to look back on this year knowing that I spent my time in the best way possible even if it is not as fond of a memory as I had expected. Easy was the thing that I hated in New Mexico. Easy is nothing. This is something.

Update (homesick)

Its been a while sense my last blog...
So what have I been up to?
Well, I went to the concert of the famous Brazilian singer. It was really really fun. Different from concerts in the US. Everyone was jumping and dancing and there were so many people. Like 10,000. I was out till...4am one night and 2am the next night of the festival, which were actually early hours for this part of the world. People here go out so much later then in the US, and they stay out a lot later too. People go out at 9 or 10pm and stay out till 3 or 4 am. If its a concert, 6am is normal. Its going to take some getting used to...but I do indeed like it.
Night has something about it nice about it...maybe because its not so freaking hot.
god its hot here. Its like...35 degrees C now, and its winter. I have no idea what summer is going to be like. Probably pretty bad. But there is the country club to go to and swim at.

My host sister left for the US 3 days ago. She went by bus all the way to Sao Paulo and took a flight from there to the US. Her parents went along for part of the trip, so my host brother and I spent the weekend at "grandma's" house. It was nice. A lot of eating, and resting. I really needed some relax time. I think this weekend was my first free weekend in Brazil.
So now that my host sister is gone, I'm without English in my house. For the most part. My host dad and brother both speak a little bit, but not enough to hinder me learning Portuguese. Which is really good.
I've begun to understand a lot of things in Portuguese. If people speak at a reasonable speed, I know generally what they are talking about, and now in school, if I really listen, I can catch some things. Its better then at first, when I understood absolutely nothing.
Today in school I had redacão, which is writing class, and the teacher gave me a paper to read. This is a little stupid, but I completely understood the 2 sentences of directions to complete the paper! the story was way over my head. But you've got to start somewhere. Its coming along.
I'm pretty freaking sick of not understanding. Today I got really mad and upset in school, about not being able to understand. I feel helpless. And I know that learning another language is not something that comes quickly. I must have patience. And I keep thinking that I'm failing because i've gone a month, and still dont speak. But that considering i came to Brazil knowing just about nothing, I'm doing well.
I really have to try hard to understand, sometimes I dont want to try anymore. I miss being able to just understand things. I miss communication being natural. But what an accomplishment will it be to be able to speak another language?

Tomorrow is a month...its strange, because at first, like the first week, felt so long. It felt like a month, but now that a month has passed, it feels like i've been here for 2 weeks...more or less. It feels like a long time sense I was at home, but...a short time here...sort of. I've been through so much, I have not had any time to be board, so maybe that is why it feels so strange...agh, I cant express my concept of time here. It just feels weird. unreal.

This weekend was a cultural festival in my city called festival do agosto. I went both friday and saturday night. Pretty much it was a festival to eat. There were a bunch of traditional foods from Minas Gerais and music, and some traditional dancing, also a lot of people. I wish I had taken my camera, I just hesitate to carry anything valuable.

I'm trying to figure out if the crime here is really as bad as people say. Because at this point, I dont carry my Ipod or camera around with me, I always hold my purse tight when walking around in the city, that is if I even dare to take a purse, and I avoid going in a lot of areas. I have yet to see someone get something stolen, or know someone that has been stolen from. But I think that I am probably somewhat of a target here. I dont look Brazilian, in fact I look very American, and that nationality is associated with wealth. Majorly. I suppose I just will figure that out with time, but I will always be careful. I may be a little paranoid though.

My host dad has told me that Brazil is a third world country. I suppose it is true, but I was thinking it was not that bad. Now that I'm here I suppose I could see that it is in some parts. Certain parts of Brazil are very nice. For example in Sao Paulo, there are not a lot of poor people, and not a lot of crime. There, many of the homes dont have walls around them like here. My host dad told me today that a few of the cities in Minas Gerais are considered to be the poorest in the world. Poorest in the World. that is....baffling. I mean, jeez, that has got to be really really poor. He said that sometime soon he will take me and my host brother to see those cities, which i know will be upsetting, and something that i will not want to see, but it will be good for me to know, for real, what it is like. Not from the news or other people, but first hand, what poverty is.

Honestly, I miss the wealth of the US. I miss my cities comforts. Streets that are level, buildings that are well kept. Big public parks. Here the streets are a mess. Always. really unorganized. The other day I was walking on the sidewalk at night, and walked into a random hole on the sidewalk, and got my foot stuck. Just an example. Soon I'll do a tour of the city and take a bunch of pictures to give you guys an idea of what it is like.
But dont get me wrong. I love the city. Its very different, its Brazilian. I can't really compare the 2 places because they are completely different.
I think that I'm going to love Brazil a lot. I'll not want to come back when it is time, and seeing the organization of American cities will just feel stale to me. Here, the city has a lot of culture. The people don't fit the city, the city fits its people. But I still miss Albuquerque. A lot.

I've been having a lot of nostalgia lately. For friends, family, home...a few times in the past few days, all i've wanted is to be home, in my bed, or with my friends driving around town, or having coffee in the morning at home...i miss the normality of life in the US. I miss my comfort. Here, I have none. I'm out of place, I dont speak the language, people have no idea who I am, I just stumble through life here, trying desperately to communicate, unable to. Unaccustomed to everything. I think I'm mostly just tired of newness. There is so much.
I need normality to set in. I've got to speak before that happens...so another month at least, and then I will not want to go home anymore.
It's never crossed my mind to go home. In reality. I've wanted to, for sure, but I've never seriously thought about it. From the moment I knew I was going, I told myself I was not coming home. I told myself I was going to be strong. I know I'm strong enough, I know I can do this, I always knew I could do it. I knew it would be hard, but i know how going good it will be for me. I know that this will be one of the things that I grow from the most in my life. Change is never easy...Good things never come easy, so this should be really really good.

I think that this is where I'm supposed to be. This is what I'm supposed to be doing, and this is going to prepare me for whatever is to come.
I will be so strong, I will be so rounded, so aware of the world around me when I come back. I will actually know things. There is a difference between actually knowing and hearing about...learning second hand is far less real.
I will know about the world's size, its people. I will know so many things. i cant wait to look back on this 20/20 knowing that the hard times were nothing compared to what I learned and how much I changed and grew. For the better.

My homesickness...is ridiculous. I know, absolutely, that if I was in New Mexico now, I would not be happy. And a year spent here, even if it is really difficult, even if I dont get as much out of it as I expect, I will have spent my year in the best way possible. I dont think there is anything I could be doing now more productive then this. In complete honesty. And that was the thing about New Mexico that I hated. More so, the thing about school that I hated. Because it was not New Mexico that I hated. In fact, I realized from being here, how much I love New Mexico. But in school, I always felt like I could be doing something better. That thought has never never crossed my mind here. I was not challenged at all there. it was the norm. This is so not the norm

Progress

It's still a roller coaster of emotions here. But at this moment, I'm very excited.

Yesterday I went with my school to a country club in my city. It was beautiful, and a lot of fun. on the bus rides to and from the school, everyone was singing and playing instruments. So much fun.
People here are so much warmer. I suppose it has something to do with the climate...but I know that is going to be one of the things I will miss a lot when I go back to the states.
Here its not weird to say hello to someone you recognize, even if you dont know their name, or exactly who they are. Its normal to kiss on the cheek and give a hug to people you just met. It's normal to invite people to your home, to sing, to dance, to be happy...
I met a girl from Germany yesterday, who said that at first she was not liking the city and her family and these things so much when she arrived, but now, after 5 months in Montes Claros, she does not want to leave. She said she will miss the warmth of the people, and the music, and everything.
Even though Brazil is unstable, even though its poor and a mess, its charming.
The girl from Germany said that after 2 months she could understand almost everything and speak for the most part, and I think that I'm already off to a pretty good start, so in 1 month, I think I will understand almost everything and speak somewhat.

Not speaking has been the most difficult thing for me. Sometimes I feel completely alone, in a place where the customs are different, with no hope of communication. It's difficult, but I knew it would be and I'll get through it. Once I can speak, my exchange year will actually start. Once people here know who I am, what I'm about, and I'm known as Sommer, not the American exchange student, things will be easier, more real.

But today, I went to the mall for a little while with one of my host sisters friends, who doesn't speak english, and I understood majority of the questions she asked me and could respond for the most part. My portuguese is better then it was, that's encouraging.

Today there is a huge music festival in my city. There are supposed to be at least 10,000 people there. Its going to last for 2 days, and the most famous singer in brazil (Ivete Sangalo if you want to check her out) is playing. Its going to be amazing. the music here is so much fun. In the US, when you go to concerts, for the most part, you go and listen and maybe dance a little. but here, the music...you cant help but want to dance, its so up beat and fun, and everyone loves to dance, so I know that this concert is going to be amazing. I'm very excited to go. very very.

More to come,
amo
Sommer

I got home last night at 3am from a weekend trip to Belo Horizonte (the largest city in Minas Gerais) with my host family.
Once again, I'm exhausted.
We left Montes Claros at 7pm on friday night, and arrived into our hotel at about...2am. The hotel was beautiful. Right down town, very nice. At 7am I had to be up to go to my host sisters rotary orientation. It was boring, but it was good for me to go, because I got to meet a bunch of other exchange students in Minas Gerais. There are 5 in my city from Poland, Denmark, Finland, Germany, and Canada. They are all very cool, and i'm looking forward to knowing them.
The next day we spent at the feira, which is like a giant open market. Huge huge huge. You can pretty much find anything you want, and its very cheap. It was really crowded, but fun anyway. After the feira, i went with my host family to their family's house in Belo Horizonte...I so wish I could understand portuguese, and talk to people, but it still just sounds like noise...not as much as it used to... I'm able to recognize words for the most part, now it is just a matter of vocab.
For most of the night I was bored, and a little despondent. Its difficult to be in a home full of people all enjoying each other, and not be a part of it. They tried to include me, and I tried to understand what was going on and be a part of it, but I can't speak.
Soon I will speak. one more month, and I'll be ok. For now its hard, but it is so completely worth it.

Strange Thing Called Life.

I can feel myself falling into the rhythm here.
The language is coming along. Slowly, but everyday I learn and can speak and understand more. I'm so excited to finally speak.
Everyone is nice here. I was worried about school, but there was no reason. Everyone is very nice to me, and they ask me questions and things like that.
I think that things are starting to calm down, which is very very good. I am still exhausted most the time, but the coffee is good and plenty, and now I have some time to catch up on sleep and think about some things.

What I've done is so crazy. But from the beginning I wanted to do it. I know I can handle it, and that I will love it and grow from it, and even though right now it is hard, it will get better, and I will learn a language, and a new culture and new people, and be busy. Which is what I love.

As most young people, I am antsy, curious. I want to see the world I live in, and I want to know it. I want to look at a map and know what the people in any country are like. Not because I learned about it from a book, but because I was there, and saw and felt and tasted it. Only then will I know that I've lived my life. When I can say that I know the world I live in. Even though we are only here for a short time. I want my time to be spent learning about people, and what they do and create, and how we are different and the same.

Going away from my home, for the first time, alone, will allow me to be anyone I want to be. With that opportunity, I will find who I am. There are no pre-conceived ideas about who I am. I am me. Only me, and I dont completely know who that is, but this is a huge step towards knowing. I'm excited about what is to come.

We should not be confined to the small worlds that are our homes. All though there is a time and a place for home, there is also a time and a place for expansion. I needed to see. Just see.
who I am, what I am, and where I am. We are so small. yet, in ourselves, we are able to do so much, and understand and help and change things.

I want to change things.
I want to learn
I want to have this strange thing we call life down pat.

School.

Well, today was my first day of school.
Last night it was very very hard for me to fall asleep. I was thinking and thinking about school and what it was going to be like, if the kids would like me...all that stuff.
I had to wake up at 6, and I probably fell asleep at 12:30...so I was not running on much sleep.
But I got to the school. I had been there before, to register, but I had not been in the school yet.
It is a Catholic school, all ages. So the 1000 people that I thought would be my age, are in fact, mostly 5 year olds. Which is kind of disappointing.

But anyway, the not speaking Portuguese thing...not going so great. I was trying to figure out where I needed to go with my host mom, and how to get everything in order, but communication is so hard!
Im getting better at speaking, slowlllllly. Soon-ish (a month) I will know more or less how to say things. I'm so excited to finally be able to speak. It will be so much easier.

Finally, once things were figured out at school (they had an english teacher come and help) My host mom and one of the receptionists at the school walked me to my class. I'm in the upper story of the school, at the very end of a hall. I arrived a little late into the class, so I felt awkward trying to find a seat. Everyone had already found a seat. But I sat down on the fringes of the class, and was introduced to everyone by the teacher, who said "this is sommer, she is from america, she does not speak portuguese, be nice to her"(in portuguese of course). After I was introduced to the class, a group of girls in the center of the class called me over to sit with them. I would call them my friends now, they showed me the school today, and talked to me...or tried to talk to me.
I kept my portuguese/english dictionary very close to me all day, and I've started a notebook of words to remember, and the dictionary is very very useful.

School here is different. All the students stay in the same room all day. One classroom. and the teachers move. Very strange. The first period of the day....I dont even know what class it was. haha. I could not understand anything, and everyone was asking me questions and it was crazy. But I was not able to associate the subject the teacher was teaching with anything.
My second class was biology. I could understand the majority of what was going on. Probably because science words dont really change between languages. DNA is still DNA and prokaryote is still the same. So I was thinking 'hey! I can speak portuguese!!' haha!
Then "lunch" came, which is like a snack/break time. I was trying to talk with people, mainly the girls from the class, and it was difficult (so much for thinking i could speak), but we were able to communicate for the most part. If people are patient with me and speak really really slowly, I can usually understand.
After "lunch" we went back to class, the next lesson was portuguese. agh. hardddddd. I pretty much have given up on trying to understand what they are talking about subject wise, and just concentrate on learning the language.
The portuguese teacher is very good at communication, so most of the time I knew what he was talking about. Conjugating verbs mostly, but advanced.

After that, school was out for the day. I think that is not normal...usually there is another period and then you go home from lunch, but today, 4th period teachers were not there or something.
So I got out of school at like 11:10am. Pretty sweet.
Normally I'll get out at 12:00 and then go home to eat lunch...do homework. hopefully I'll have good friends soon, and I can go out in the afternoon with them too.

Overall, school was fine. I had really no reason to worry about it. the kids are nice, there aren't many my age, but that is ok. I will meet other people other places.

While I was waiting for my host dad to come get me at school, the kids from the other school got out, so all of them were walking past. Already I recognize some people, and some of them stopped to say hello.
So I saw a boy named Hanns, he speaks perfect english (he went on an exchange last year to the US). and his friend that I met in the mall real quick. Also a few of Thandara's (host sister) friends.
People here are nice. I think I'll find friends soon. I already have some.
I'm very excited about meeting people at my art school. They should be neat. I dont know when I start that, but hopefully soon.

So now, I suppose normality sets in.
thank god.

Update/Babbling

Brazil so far has been such a roller-coaster...emotionally.
If you cant tell from my past journal entries.
When I have time to think about things, all i have is suadade (sort of nostalgia...there is not a word in english for this..but mostly it means missing people) but when I'm out doing things I am elated, and happy.

I'm having a hard time with the language, with my family, with saudade...I'm worrying a lot about school, and what people will think of me, what they will say about me that I wont understand. I'm worried that I'm not going to fall in with my host family.
But In reality, in the big picture, I know that I will be fine, and I know that all this worry and sadness is temporary, and once I speak Portuguese, and have friends I will love it here. And when the time comes for me to leave, I wont want to. But I'm all stuck in now...

The good things are that I love the culture of Brazil. The music here is so amazing, and I'm so excited to start my music school. Everyone here dances. Even the boys! what a concept!!!!!
So I'm excited to dance, and play guitar, and make great friends, and finally be able to speak Portuguese.
I know things will be ok. This is the beginning and I knew it would be hard, and I also know it will get better. And I'm not going to let myself lose sight of what I am here for, or get a mindset that will hinder my ability to enjoy my time here.

Tomorrow I'm going shopping for ingredients to make my family a meal. I think it is going to be difficult, as I cant describe the things I need, nor do I know what they have and dont have. I will just have to wing it. But I'm going to be making Guacamole, and maybe...huevos rancheros or something like that. If worse comes to worse, I'll make tacos. But I think I can find something better.

I miss you guys, and I love you very much. Thank you all for your support and everything...this is going to be one of the most life changing experiences I will have...it will be very good for me, and I will love it once normality has set in.

tcahu e Beijos
Sommer

Journal Entrys (more difficult)

Journal Entry 7-26

I'm in an airplane in Sao Paul now...It's funny how things work here. The flight was an hour and a half late, and we boarded like 30 minutes ago, and are not leaving for another 15....that is almost 2 hours late. I hope I make my flight to Montes Claros.
I meet my family today. That is pretty crazy. I'm excited and nervous and anxious, but mostly excited.
Right now, Im completely alone in a city I dont know, where the people dont speak my language. This is my first complete immersion in Brazil. It's pretty exciting. I've really got to learn Portuguese though. ahh
Today I went out with Barbara's mom for almost a whole hour, just us, only Portuguese. It was really fun, but the communication was a little difficult, as I dont speak Portuguese and she does not speak English. We could understand each other for the most part though, with hand gestures and broken language.
She took me shopping for some manicure things, chocolate, and some funny slippers....ahhh i wish I was staying longer with them, at least for her aunts wedding. So much fun. But I have to go to my host family, to meet them, and fall into things before school starts.
Barbara's family feels so much like my own...I hope I see them again
The plane has finally lifted off...2 hours late. I hope I can make my flight...I have one hour to get my baggage, re-check in, and board my flight, and I dont speak Portuguese... We will see how well this goes.
I'm meeting my family today!!! scary.
I know I'm going to be comparing them to Barbara's family...those are some big shoes to fill. I think I'll like them, but god...Barbara's family is the best.

Journal Entry 7-28

I've not written in a long time. I have wanted to, But things have been so crazy.
My flight from Sao Paulo to Belo Horizonte was 2 hours late, and I had to switch airports in Belo Horizonte in one hour. I had no idea I had to switch airports. I barely made it to the other airport in time, and I had to take a frightening taxi ride that cost $40.
On the flight over to Montes Claros, I talked to another student in the Rotary from Finland. She was very nice. When we were landing, we both got so excited. I was so excited, gah.
We landed at night, so the city looked very beautiful, and it's pretty big.
The plane was very small, and the airport too. When we landed, we walked out onto the runway, and over to the "terminal" which was a tiny room with a circular baggage pick up belt, and nothing else.
When I saw my family, I was so excited. Really really excited. I didn't even want to get my baggage, I just wanted to go hug them.
We went out to eat after I arrived, and then went home. I was very worried at first because they were apologizing for their house being small, and the area that we were driving in was a little ruff. Then we turned onto this street that was all washed out, and the houses were falling apart, and then I was really really worried. I had gone from Barbara's amazing family to this feuding mess.
But the house is very nice. Granite counters and stairs, and new...its nice.
The city of Montes Claros is poor in general. But the people seem very nice, and that is what is important.
Yesterday I met some of Thandara's friends, they were nice. Once of them speaks perfect english, so he should be able to help me understand portuguese...
My family here seems a little disfunctional. The mom is a little cold, none of them are close to the others.

I'm feeling tired and I miss home. Yesterday I talked to Julia fro the first time in a long time. I cried for the first time...the past few days have been hard with the new family. Sometimes things are really good...other times...not so much fun.
Last night was a lot of fun though. My host brother, sister, mother and I went out to a birthday party for a little kid. I really did not want to go, but they thought it was important that I did. I thought it was going to be very lame, but it was nice. Everyone dresses up so much here to go out. Even for an 8 year old's birthday party. There were suited waiters bring food and drinks, and everyone was looking their best...it was very nice.
And all the people are so nice here! I got invited to go horseback riding, and to go out to lunch from 2 different families at the party. I also got offered samba lessons, which I am going to need.
Who knows if these things will work out, but the offer is nice anyway.

Yesterday, I met the rest of my host family's family. The great grandmother, grandmother, aunt, uncle, and cousins. That was very nice. They are very loving towards one another. Families are very close here, as a whole at least.
I feel sad and worried now. I think that is normal, but it's not so good.

Journal 7-29

I'm having a hard time lately. I'm tired, I miss my family, friends, barbara's family...and I'm having trouble getting close to my host parents. Me and Thandara, my host sister, are very close now though, which is nice. She is very smart, and can comfort me when I'm missing home.
I'm a little uncomfortable with my host brother (13) though...I dont know if I need to be or not, but eh,
I went out yesterday with my host sister to a restaurant for Pagode, which is a kind of Brazilian music that young people like a lot. It's...kind of salsa like. very upbeat. Most of the music here is like that. very very fun.
My host dad has said that he is going to put me into a music school. I'm very excited. His sister, and sister-in-law both work there. It's a college for the arts, and I'm very excited. There I will take guitar, and also painting and drawing I think. maybe some dance classes too, if I have time.
Here, regular school starts at 7:30 and goes till 11:40. Lunch is the most important meal of the day, so I would go home for lunch with my family after school, and then I think I would go to my art school for classes.
I start school on Wednesday. I'm very nervous. Everything will be in Portuguese, and seeing as I dont speak Portuguese, it will be difficult. But I will learn the language very very quickly I think. My school is Catholic, which also makes me nervous. I've never been religious, and now I'm going to be praying everyday...it will be interesting and good for me to be exposed to these things..its part of the culture too.

Not many people here speak English, which is good, but I've been speaking a lot of English...with Thandara (host sister) and random people I meet that speak it. I need to start immersing myself in the language though, because the longer I take to learn it, the worse off I am.

Journal Entrys (The Begining)

Journal Entry 7-21

I'm about to lift off from Albuquerque. The past few days have been some of the craziest times of my life. I've barely had time to breathe. Ive probably felt every emotion you can possibly feel...in the past 72 hours.
Now I'm saying goodbye to home. Rather, its being redefined. It's just as difficult as I expected.
i know this will be great, but im nervous, sad, terrified...

Journal Entry 7-22

I'm somewhere over the Atlantic ocean. It's about 3am.
the last few days have been insane. The Duke City party..trying to get ready to go at the same time. It's been one of the hardest times. Last night I said goodbye to my best friends. I cried. not only did I cry, I sobbed. But strangely, Im no longer sad. I suppose I just need some time to start missing them. I'm pretty excited now.
I'm sitting next to an extremely nice Brazilian woman. She reminds me of Barbara a little. She has been giving me advise on my trip, talking to me about Brazil and what to expect. She says the men here are macho. oh jeez....haha.
but she said I just need to be smart about things, and I'll be fine. Know where I am, how to get home, and she said to enjoy the food, but not too much. To dance. and to enjoy my time. I know I will. I'm so excited and so happy that I got to talk to her. Brazil is going to be beautiful.
I think I've grown up in the last few days a little, or maybe a lot. Leaving was a huge leap towards the rest of my life.
I strangely dont feel nostalgic now. I suppose that will come with time.
I feel far away from everyone. I am. distance speaking, but i'm in close contact.

I've started to use the past tense when talking about America. its so weird. when I was talking with the woman on the plane I said "I danced in the US"....danced. Ahhh strange.
I'm so glad I'm going. It's horribly scary but the woman on the plane says that i dont need to be scared. That I will be fine. And that being scared and nervous hinders your ability to learn. I just need to relax and take everything in.
We've almost hit South America...Woah

Journal Entry 7-22 (night)

Today has been amazing. I cant believe I'm here. It's like a never ending vacation. full of great food and people.
The food is fantastic...and I hear Minas (my state) has even better food. I'm going to gain weight. but I'll dance so it will be all right.
Today when i arrived in the airport i was so excited. So excited. Brazil is such an interesting place. the houses are so colorful and all the archetecture has character. The sidewalk in front of where I'm sitting is tiled checkered and the building is green. all of the roofs are red tiled. there are squares for people to gather all over the place.
That is one big difference I can see. The people gather, they enjoy one another's company instead of cooping up in their house. They are as warm as everyone says.
I have not really had much contact with Brazilians that i am not familiar with yet, Just Barbara's family. Who are so amazing...but everyone I've met is kind.

I suppose I'll do a run down of my day.
So I got off the plane. I was really excited. I could not stop smiling. Once I had my luggage, I went out to meet Barbara and her family. Her mom, brother, and 2 of her cousins.
We went out of the airport, and went out to the car, barbara's dad has the funniest little car. It is an oldie. I took some pictures.
The cars in Brazil are very very small. You really dont see SUVs at all. There are a lot of VW beetles, and Geo-like cars.
After we'd left the airport and the city of Sao Paulo, we stopped at this Buffet like place to eat. I could recognize like 0% if the food. but I tried a bunch of things. Mostly what Barbara told me to eat. haha. the meat is very good here. salty.
there are a bunch of fruits i dont know about. Goiaba is one. its like a green guava...i dont know what it tastes like really though. the one I had was supposedly not good.
The buffet was different from America... It was by weight, so you get this card, and you pick up the food you want, and they weigh it (by kilo :/ )and you an go and get more if you want, you just weigh it and add it to the card. Makes more since ah?
So after we ate, we got back on the road. Brazil is gorgeous. So green, but it's not so humid, its perfect. And its winter?? 70 degrees.
There are a lot of toll stations on the high-ways. like $2.50 charges at each. the money goes to keeping the roads in good condition.
On our way to Porto Feliz (Barbara's grandmother's city) we got lost. it was nice though, because I got to look around. Everywhere I go I feel a little....white though. I know people are aware of my Americanness. But that's ok. We'll see how it really is tomorrow. I have not really had much contact with Brazilian people I dont know already. I'm excited, but a little nervous too.
When we finally arrived in Porto Feliz, we went to Barbara's aunt's house. The house was gorgeous. like one you would see in better homes an gardens or something. Brazilians seem to have a lot of windows in their buildings, which I like.
I met a whole bunch of people. All trying to speak Portuguese with me. But I cant really understand much. They are nice though.
The traditional greeting in Brasil is "muito prazer" and a hug and kiss on the cheek.
I really love Brazil so far.
well, I'm exausted and elated and happy and excited. I know this is going to be great. Tchau!

Journal Entry 7-24

Well, it's rained for the past 2 days. almost strait. It's nice, but I have not been able to do anything. Yesterday Barbara, her mom and dad, and cousin went to a town to go shopping and look around, but nothing was open. We tried to go to the ski mountain (like waterslide skiing I guess) but it was closed and the winery was empty because of the rain, but we had lots of fun anyway, really love her family. They feel like my own. I wish I was staying with them. but I'm anxious to meet my new family too.
Today I went to the supermercado with Tais, Barbara's aunt who is getting married this weekend. It was very different, unorganized, you can bargain prices...It's different here. I like it a lot though.
Barbara's family are such a family. so close and they love each other very much.
The Portuguese is coming along, but very slowly. Not sooo bad though. I learn more everyday. I like it a lot. And I cant wait to speak well. Im definitely still adjusting to Brazil. Customs, languange, food, people. but I think that I'm going to like it here a lot.