Brazil so far has been such a roller-coaster...emotionally.
If you cant tell from my past journal entries.
When I have time to think about things, all i have is suadade (sort of nostalgia...there is not a word in english for this..but mostly it means missing people) but when I'm out doing things I am elated, and happy.
I'm having a hard time with the language, with my family, with saudade...I'm worrying a lot about school, and what people will think of me, what they will say about me that I wont understand. I'm worried that I'm not going to fall in with my host family.
But In reality, in the big picture, I know that I will be fine, and I know that all this worry and sadness is temporary, and once I speak Portuguese, and have friends I will love it here. And when the time comes for me to leave, I wont want to. But I'm all stuck in now...
The good things are that I love the culture of Brazil. The music here is so amazing, and I'm so excited to start my music school. Everyone here dances. Even the boys! what a concept!!!!!
So I'm excited to dance, and play guitar, and make great friends, and finally be able to speak Portuguese.
I know things will be ok. This is the beginning and I knew it would be hard, and I also know it will get better. And I'm not going to let myself lose sight of what I am here for, or get a mindset that will hinder my ability to enjoy my time here.
Tomorrow I'm going shopping for ingredients to make my family a meal. I think it is going to be difficult, as I cant describe the things I need, nor do I know what they have and dont have. I will just have to wing it. But I'm going to be making Guacamole, and maybe...huevos rancheros or something like that. If worse comes to worse, I'll make tacos. But I think I can find something better.
I miss you guys, and I love you very much. Thank you all for your support and everything...this is going to be one of the most life changing experiences I will have...it will be very good for me, and I will love it once normality has set in.
tcahu e Beijos
Sommer
Monday, July 30, 2007
Journal Entrys (more difficult)
Journal Entry 7-26
I'm in an airplane in Sao Paul now...It's funny how things work here. The flight was an hour and a half late, and we boarded like 30 minutes ago, and are not leaving for another 15....that is almost 2 hours late. I hope I make my flight to Montes Claros.
I meet my family today. That is pretty crazy. I'm excited and nervous and anxious, but mostly excited.
Right now, Im completely alone in a city I dont know, where the people dont speak my language. This is my first complete immersion in Brazil. It's pretty exciting. I've really got to learn Portuguese though. ahh
Today I went out with Barbara's mom for almost a whole hour, just us, only Portuguese. It was really fun, but the communication was a little difficult, as I dont speak Portuguese and she does not speak English. We could understand each other for the most part though, with hand gestures and broken language.
She took me shopping for some manicure things, chocolate, and some funny slippers....ahhh i wish I was staying longer with them, at least for her aunts wedding. So much fun. But I have to go to my host family, to meet them, and fall into things before school starts.
Barbara's family feels so much like my own...I hope I see them again
The plane has finally lifted off...2 hours late. I hope I can make my flight...I have one hour to get my baggage, re-check in, and board my flight, and I dont speak Portuguese... We will see how well this goes.
I'm meeting my family today!!! scary.
I know I'm going to be comparing them to Barbara's family...those are some big shoes to fill. I think I'll like them, but god...Barbara's family is the best.
Journal Entry 7-28
I've not written in a long time. I have wanted to, But things have been so crazy.
My flight from Sao Paulo to Belo Horizonte was 2 hours late, and I had to switch airports in Belo Horizonte in one hour. I had no idea I had to switch airports. I barely made it to the other airport in time, and I had to take a frightening taxi ride that cost $40.
On the flight over to Montes Claros, I talked to another student in the Rotary from Finland. She was very nice. When we were landing, we both got so excited. I was so excited, gah.
We landed at night, so the city looked very beautiful, and it's pretty big.
The plane was very small, and the airport too. When we landed, we walked out onto the runway, and over to the "terminal" which was a tiny room with a circular baggage pick up belt, and nothing else.
When I saw my family, I was so excited. Really really excited. I didn't even want to get my baggage, I just wanted to go hug them.
We went out to eat after I arrived, and then went home. I was very worried at first because they were apologizing for their house being small, and the area that we were driving in was a little ruff. Then we turned onto this street that was all washed out, and the houses were falling apart, and then I was really really worried. I had gone from Barbara's amazing family to this feuding mess.
But the house is very nice. Granite counters and stairs, and new...its nice.
The city of Montes Claros is poor in general. But the people seem very nice, and that is what is important.
Yesterday I met some of Thandara's friends, they were nice. Once of them speaks perfect english, so he should be able to help me understand portuguese...
My family here seems a little disfunctional. The mom is a little cold, none of them are close to the others.
I'm feeling tired and I miss home. Yesterday I talked to Julia fro the first time in a long time. I cried for the first time...the past few days have been hard with the new family. Sometimes things are really good...other times...not so much fun.
Last night was a lot of fun though. My host brother, sister, mother and I went out to a birthday party for a little kid. I really did not want to go, but they thought it was important that I did. I thought it was going to be very lame, but it was nice. Everyone dresses up so much here to go out. Even for an 8 year old's birthday party. There were suited waiters bring food and drinks, and everyone was looking their best...it was very nice.
And all the people are so nice here! I got invited to go horseback riding, and to go out to lunch from 2 different families at the party. I also got offered samba lessons, which I am going to need.
Who knows if these things will work out, but the offer is nice anyway.
Yesterday, I met the rest of my host family's family. The great grandmother, grandmother, aunt, uncle, and cousins. That was very nice. They are very loving towards one another. Families are very close here, as a whole at least.
I feel sad and worried now. I think that is normal, but it's not so good.
Journal 7-29
I'm having a hard time lately. I'm tired, I miss my family, friends, barbara's family...and I'm having trouble getting close to my host parents. Me and Thandara, my host sister, are very close now though, which is nice. She is very smart, and can comfort me when I'm missing home.
I'm a little uncomfortable with my host brother (13) though...I dont know if I need to be or not, but eh,
I went out yesterday with my host sister to a restaurant for Pagode, which is a kind of Brazilian music that young people like a lot. It's...kind of salsa like. very upbeat. Most of the music here is like that. very very fun.
My host dad has said that he is going to put me into a music school. I'm very excited. His sister, and sister-in-law both work there. It's a college for the arts, and I'm very excited. There I will take guitar, and also painting and drawing I think. maybe some dance classes too, if I have time.
Here, regular school starts at 7:30 and goes till 11:40. Lunch is the most important meal of the day, so I would go home for lunch with my family after school, and then I think I would go to my art school for classes.
I start school on Wednesday. I'm very nervous. Everything will be in Portuguese, and seeing as I dont speak Portuguese, it will be difficult. But I will learn the language very very quickly I think. My school is Catholic, which also makes me nervous. I've never been religious, and now I'm going to be praying everyday...it will be interesting and good for me to be exposed to these things..its part of the culture too.
Not many people here speak English, which is good, but I've been speaking a lot of English...with Thandara (host sister) and random people I meet that speak it. I need to start immersing myself in the language though, because the longer I take to learn it, the worse off I am.
I'm in an airplane in Sao Paul now...It's funny how things work here. The flight was an hour and a half late, and we boarded like 30 minutes ago, and are not leaving for another 15....that is almost 2 hours late. I hope I make my flight to Montes Claros.
I meet my family today. That is pretty crazy. I'm excited and nervous and anxious, but mostly excited.
Right now, Im completely alone in a city I dont know, where the people dont speak my language. This is my first complete immersion in Brazil. It's pretty exciting. I've really got to learn Portuguese though. ahh
Today I went out with Barbara's mom for almost a whole hour, just us, only Portuguese. It was really fun, but the communication was a little difficult, as I dont speak Portuguese and she does not speak English. We could understand each other for the most part though, with hand gestures and broken language.
She took me shopping for some manicure things, chocolate, and some funny slippers....ahhh i wish I was staying longer with them, at least for her aunts wedding. So much fun. But I have to go to my host family, to meet them, and fall into things before school starts.
Barbara's family feels so much like my own...I hope I see them again
The plane has finally lifted off...2 hours late. I hope I can make my flight...I have one hour to get my baggage, re-check in, and board my flight, and I dont speak Portuguese... We will see how well this goes.
I'm meeting my family today!!! scary.
I know I'm going to be comparing them to Barbara's family...those are some big shoes to fill. I think I'll like them, but god...Barbara's family is the best.
Journal Entry 7-28
I've not written in a long time. I have wanted to, But things have been so crazy.
My flight from Sao Paulo to Belo Horizonte was 2 hours late, and I had to switch airports in Belo Horizonte in one hour. I had no idea I had to switch airports. I barely made it to the other airport in time, and I had to take a frightening taxi ride that cost $40.
On the flight over to Montes Claros, I talked to another student in the Rotary from Finland. She was very nice. When we were landing, we both got so excited. I was so excited, gah.
We landed at night, so the city looked very beautiful, and it's pretty big.
The plane was very small, and the airport too. When we landed, we walked out onto the runway, and over to the "terminal" which was a tiny room with a circular baggage pick up belt, and nothing else.
When I saw my family, I was so excited. Really really excited. I didn't even want to get my baggage, I just wanted to go hug them.
We went out to eat after I arrived, and then went home. I was very worried at first because they were apologizing for their house being small, and the area that we were driving in was a little ruff. Then we turned onto this street that was all washed out, and the houses were falling apart, and then I was really really worried. I had gone from Barbara's amazing family to this feuding mess.
But the house is very nice. Granite counters and stairs, and new...its nice.
The city of Montes Claros is poor in general. But the people seem very nice, and that is what is important.
Yesterday I met some of Thandara's friends, they were nice. Once of them speaks perfect english, so he should be able to help me understand portuguese...
My family here seems a little disfunctional. The mom is a little cold, none of them are close to the others.
I'm feeling tired and I miss home. Yesterday I talked to Julia fro the first time in a long time. I cried for the first time...the past few days have been hard with the new family. Sometimes things are really good...other times...not so much fun.
Last night was a lot of fun though. My host brother, sister, mother and I went out to a birthday party for a little kid. I really did not want to go, but they thought it was important that I did. I thought it was going to be very lame, but it was nice. Everyone dresses up so much here to go out. Even for an 8 year old's birthday party. There were suited waiters bring food and drinks, and everyone was looking their best...it was very nice.
And all the people are so nice here! I got invited to go horseback riding, and to go out to lunch from 2 different families at the party. I also got offered samba lessons, which I am going to need.
Who knows if these things will work out, but the offer is nice anyway.
Yesterday, I met the rest of my host family's family. The great grandmother, grandmother, aunt, uncle, and cousins. That was very nice. They are very loving towards one another. Families are very close here, as a whole at least.
I feel sad and worried now. I think that is normal, but it's not so good.
Journal 7-29
I'm having a hard time lately. I'm tired, I miss my family, friends, barbara's family...and I'm having trouble getting close to my host parents. Me and Thandara, my host sister, are very close now though, which is nice. She is very smart, and can comfort me when I'm missing home.
I'm a little uncomfortable with my host brother (13) though...I dont know if I need to be or not, but eh,
I went out yesterday with my host sister to a restaurant for Pagode, which is a kind of Brazilian music that young people like a lot. It's...kind of salsa like. very upbeat. Most of the music here is like that. very very fun.
My host dad has said that he is going to put me into a music school. I'm very excited. His sister, and sister-in-law both work there. It's a college for the arts, and I'm very excited. There I will take guitar, and also painting and drawing I think. maybe some dance classes too, if I have time.
Here, regular school starts at 7:30 and goes till 11:40. Lunch is the most important meal of the day, so I would go home for lunch with my family after school, and then I think I would go to my art school for classes.
I start school on Wednesday. I'm very nervous. Everything will be in Portuguese, and seeing as I dont speak Portuguese, it will be difficult. But I will learn the language very very quickly I think. My school is Catholic, which also makes me nervous. I've never been religious, and now I'm going to be praying everyday...it will be interesting and good for me to be exposed to these things..its part of the culture too.
Not many people here speak English, which is good, but I've been speaking a lot of English...with Thandara (host sister) and random people I meet that speak it. I need to start immersing myself in the language though, because the longer I take to learn it, the worse off I am.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Journal Entrys (The Begining)
Journal Entry 7-21
I'm about to lift off from Albuquerque. The past few days have been some of the craziest times of my life. I've barely had time to breathe. Ive probably felt every emotion you can possibly feel...in the past 72 hours.
Now I'm saying goodbye to home. Rather, its being redefined. It's just as difficult as I expected.
i know this will be great, but im nervous, sad, terrified...
Journal Entry 7-22
I'm somewhere over the Atlantic ocean. It's about 3am.
the last few days have been insane. The Duke City party..trying to get ready to go at the same time. It's been one of the hardest times. Last night I said goodbye to my best friends. I cried. not only did I cry, I sobbed. But strangely, Im no longer sad. I suppose I just need some time to start missing them. I'm pretty excited now.
I'm sitting next to an extremely nice Brazilian woman. She reminds me of Barbara a little. She has been giving me advise on my trip, talking to me about Brazil and what to expect. She says the men here are macho. oh jeez....haha.
but she said I just need to be smart about things, and I'll be fine. Know where I am, how to get home, and she said to enjoy the food, but not too much. To dance. and to enjoy my time. I know I will. I'm so excited and so happy that I got to talk to her. Brazil is going to be beautiful.
I think I've grown up in the last few days a little, or maybe a lot. Leaving was a huge leap towards the rest of my life.
I strangely dont feel nostalgic now. I suppose that will come with time.
I feel far away from everyone. I am. distance speaking, but i'm in close contact.
I've started to use the past tense when talking about America. its so weird. when I was talking with the woman on the plane I said "I danced in the US"....danced. Ahhh strange.
I'm so glad I'm going. It's horribly scary but the woman on the plane says that i dont need to be scared. That I will be fine. And that being scared and nervous hinders your ability to learn. I just need to relax and take everything in.
We've almost hit South America...Woah
Journal Entry 7-22 (night)
Today has been amazing. I cant believe I'm here. It's like a never ending vacation. full of great food and people.
The food is fantastic...and I hear Minas (my state) has even better food. I'm going to gain weight. but I'll dance so it will be all right.
Today when i arrived in the airport i was so excited. So excited. Brazil is such an interesting place. the houses are so colorful and all the archetecture has character. The sidewalk in front of where I'm sitting is tiled checkered and the building is green. all of the roofs are red tiled. there are squares for people to gather all over the place.
That is one big difference I can see. The people gather, they enjoy one another's company instead of cooping up in their house. They are as warm as everyone says.
I have not really had much contact with Brazilians that i am not familiar with yet, Just Barbara's family. Who are so amazing...but everyone I've met is kind.
I suppose I'll do a run down of my day.
So I got off the plane. I was really excited. I could not stop smiling. Once I had my luggage, I went out to meet Barbara and her family. Her mom, brother, and 2 of her cousins.
We went out of the airport, and went out to the car, barbara's dad has the funniest little car. It is an oldie. I took some pictures.
The cars in Brazil are very very small. You really dont see SUVs at all. There are a lot of VW beetles, and Geo-like cars.
After we'd left the airport and the city of Sao Paulo, we stopped at this Buffet like place to eat. I could recognize like 0% if the food. but I tried a bunch of things. Mostly what Barbara told me to eat. haha. the meat is very good here. salty.
there are a bunch of fruits i dont know about. Goiaba is one. its like a green guava...i dont know what it tastes like really though. the one I had was supposedly not good.
The buffet was different from America... It was by weight, so you get this card, and you pick up the food you want, and they weigh it (by kilo :/ )and you an go and get more if you want, you just weigh it and add it to the card. Makes more since ah?
So after we ate, we got back on the road. Brazil is gorgeous. So green, but it's not so humid, its perfect. And its winter?? 70 degrees.
There are a lot of toll stations on the high-ways. like $2.50 charges at each. the money goes to keeping the roads in good condition.
On our way to Porto Feliz (Barbara's grandmother's city) we got lost. it was nice though, because I got to look around. Everywhere I go I feel a little....white though. I know people are aware of my Americanness. But that's ok. We'll see how it really is tomorrow. I have not really had much contact with Brazilian people I dont know already. I'm excited, but a little nervous too.
When we finally arrived in Porto Feliz, we went to Barbara's aunt's house. The house was gorgeous. like one you would see in better homes an gardens or something. Brazilians seem to have a lot of windows in their buildings, which I like.
I met a whole bunch of people. All trying to speak Portuguese with me. But I cant really understand much. They are nice though.
The traditional greeting in Brasil is "muito prazer" and a hug and kiss on the cheek.
I really love Brazil so far.
well, I'm exausted and elated and happy and excited. I know this is going to be great. Tchau!
Journal Entry 7-24
Well, it's rained for the past 2 days. almost strait. It's nice, but I have not been able to do anything. Yesterday Barbara, her mom and dad, and cousin went to a town to go shopping and look around, but nothing was open. We tried to go to the ski mountain (like waterslide skiing I guess) but it was closed and the winery was empty because of the rain, but we had lots of fun anyway, really love her family. They feel like my own. I wish I was staying with them. but I'm anxious to meet my new family too.
Today I went to the supermercado with Tais, Barbara's aunt who is getting married this weekend. It was very different, unorganized, you can bargain prices...It's different here. I like it a lot though.
Barbara's family are such a family. so close and they love each other very much.
The Portuguese is coming along, but very slowly. Not sooo bad though. I learn more everyday. I like it a lot. And I cant wait to speak well. Im definitely still adjusting to Brazil. Customs, languange, food, people. but I think that I'm going to like it here a lot.
I'm about to lift off from Albuquerque. The past few days have been some of the craziest times of my life. I've barely had time to breathe. Ive probably felt every emotion you can possibly feel...in the past 72 hours.
Now I'm saying goodbye to home. Rather, its being redefined. It's just as difficult as I expected.
i know this will be great, but im nervous, sad, terrified...
Journal Entry 7-22
I'm somewhere over the Atlantic ocean. It's about 3am.
the last few days have been insane. The Duke City party..trying to get ready to go at the same time. It's been one of the hardest times. Last night I said goodbye to my best friends. I cried. not only did I cry, I sobbed. But strangely, Im no longer sad. I suppose I just need some time to start missing them. I'm pretty excited now.
I'm sitting next to an extremely nice Brazilian woman. She reminds me of Barbara a little. She has been giving me advise on my trip, talking to me about Brazil and what to expect. She says the men here are macho. oh jeez....haha.
but she said I just need to be smart about things, and I'll be fine. Know where I am, how to get home, and she said to enjoy the food, but not too much. To dance. and to enjoy my time. I know I will. I'm so excited and so happy that I got to talk to her. Brazil is going to be beautiful.
I think I've grown up in the last few days a little, or maybe a lot. Leaving was a huge leap towards the rest of my life.
I strangely dont feel nostalgic now. I suppose that will come with time.
I feel far away from everyone. I am. distance speaking, but i'm in close contact.
I've started to use the past tense when talking about America. its so weird. when I was talking with the woman on the plane I said "I danced in the US"....danced. Ahhh strange.
I'm so glad I'm going. It's horribly scary but the woman on the plane says that i dont need to be scared. That I will be fine. And that being scared and nervous hinders your ability to learn. I just need to relax and take everything in.
We've almost hit South America...Woah
Journal Entry 7-22 (night)
Today has been amazing. I cant believe I'm here. It's like a never ending vacation. full of great food and people.
The food is fantastic...and I hear Minas (my state) has even better food. I'm going to gain weight. but I'll dance so it will be all right.
Today when i arrived in the airport i was so excited. So excited. Brazil is such an interesting place. the houses are so colorful and all the archetecture has character. The sidewalk in front of where I'm sitting is tiled checkered and the building is green. all of the roofs are red tiled. there are squares for people to gather all over the place.
That is one big difference I can see. The people gather, they enjoy one another's company instead of cooping up in their house. They are as warm as everyone says.
I have not really had much contact with Brazilians that i am not familiar with yet, Just Barbara's family. Who are so amazing...but everyone I've met is kind.
I suppose I'll do a run down of my day.
So I got off the plane. I was really excited. I could not stop smiling. Once I had my luggage, I went out to meet Barbara and her family. Her mom, brother, and 2 of her cousins.
We went out of the airport, and went out to the car, barbara's dad has the funniest little car. It is an oldie. I took some pictures.
The cars in Brazil are very very small. You really dont see SUVs at all. There are a lot of VW beetles, and Geo-like cars.
After we'd left the airport and the city of Sao Paulo, we stopped at this Buffet like place to eat. I could recognize like 0% if the food. but I tried a bunch of things. Mostly what Barbara told me to eat. haha. the meat is very good here. salty.
there are a bunch of fruits i dont know about. Goiaba is one. its like a green guava...i dont know what it tastes like really though. the one I had was supposedly not good.
The buffet was different from America... It was by weight, so you get this card, and you pick up the food you want, and they weigh it (by kilo :/ )and you an go and get more if you want, you just weigh it and add it to the card. Makes more since ah?
So after we ate, we got back on the road. Brazil is gorgeous. So green, but it's not so humid, its perfect. And its winter?? 70 degrees.
There are a lot of toll stations on the high-ways. like $2.50 charges at each. the money goes to keeping the roads in good condition.
On our way to Porto Feliz (Barbara's grandmother's city) we got lost. it was nice though, because I got to look around. Everywhere I go I feel a little....white though. I know people are aware of my Americanness. But that's ok. We'll see how it really is tomorrow. I have not really had much contact with Brazilian people I dont know already. I'm excited, but a little nervous too.
When we finally arrived in Porto Feliz, we went to Barbara's aunt's house. The house was gorgeous. like one you would see in better homes an gardens or something. Brazilians seem to have a lot of windows in their buildings, which I like.
I met a whole bunch of people. All trying to speak Portuguese with me. But I cant really understand much. They are nice though.
The traditional greeting in Brasil is "muito prazer" and a hug and kiss on the cheek.
I really love Brazil so far.
well, I'm exausted and elated and happy and excited. I know this is going to be great. Tchau!
Journal Entry 7-24
Well, it's rained for the past 2 days. almost strait. It's nice, but I have not been able to do anything. Yesterday Barbara, her mom and dad, and cousin went to a town to go shopping and look around, but nothing was open. We tried to go to the ski mountain (like waterslide skiing I guess) but it was closed and the winery was empty because of the rain, but we had lots of fun anyway, really love her family. They feel like my own. I wish I was staying with them. but I'm anxious to meet my new family too.
Today I went to the supermercado with Tais, Barbara's aunt who is getting married this weekend. It was very different, unorganized, you can bargain prices...It's different here. I like it a lot though.
Barbara's family are such a family. so close and they love each other very much.
The Portuguese is coming along, but very slowly. Not sooo bad though. I learn more everyday. I like it a lot. And I cant wait to speak well. Im definitely still adjusting to Brazil. Customs, languange, food, people. but I think that I'm going to like it here a lot.
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